Momento

What going on right now????

Sun, 20 Nov 2011 17:45:23 +0800

When you start doubting what you want in life, you realize u miss all the different paths you could actually have in your life.

Right now the path i stepped forward to, is not exactly what i wished for but what i initially wanted. I fear my choice and i fear my regrets. I honestly do not hate what i’m doing or rather i like what I’m doing and not love what I’m doing. Well get it? Like and not Love?

I always tell my friends not to live in regrets and that you live your life only once. So live it and be it.

Couple of days back, the workload has almost killed me. I really hated it. I started questioning my own passion for the job and i started asking what deep shit have i thrown myself in.

You do what you need to do, you dedicate your life to doing what needed to be done and sometimes you realize what needed to be done is not how others want it to be done. I almost smoke myself and drank myself to death on that friday if not for my men or friends there by me.

I hate relying on people for help. I hate letting others see my weak side. I don’t like winning because i hate being the centre of attraction. If you know me long enough you know i rarely use the word hate because its just too strong a word.

So on that particular day, when i texted my men that i needed a drink, i sat by the river waiting for them. I started going stick by stick, and thinking to myself why i’m tired of what I’m doing and what i have done wrong to get accused for. The answer always come back to i know I’m doing my 101% and I’m doing what needed to be done at that time. There is simply no appreciation and purely task-oriented in the organization.

Slowly i started realizing I’m a baton and I’m only passed around when someone needs it. I became a want and not a need. The self esteem of mine is going down but I’m living it positively everyday telling myself i can’t give up yet because right behind me i have 20 odd plus people waiting for me to lead and support. If i can’t stay positive how can i tell or advise them to stay positive. I call myself a lucky bastard for having them.

Contradicting but true, I always thought i wasn’t cut out to be an officer and all i wanted was a specialist job but I’m doing ok. Not awesome or fantastic but ok.

A good friend of mine always say I’m everybody friends but nobody friends. See I’m not a priority among friends but a good influence among most. So one of my exs commented that Jon you do realize that every time you planned something most people will turned up your just that good at influencing but you also realized that not many people asked you out unless they actually needed you to be there. That is sad but true and as time pass by i realize the problem lies purely with me. I realize when people start asking me out i will give millions of excuse to why I’m not free when I’m actually doing nothing. I fear boredom and Amanda will alway says that its hard to keep Jon entertain long enough for him to leave. Im such a jerk and thanks God i don’t have many close friends just acquaintances.

I always thought my bff was my bff till i realize she can’t possibly commit her life for me, not always but most of her time. She has her life to go on with and her peers and family. I wonder how much she knows about me and how much she really wants to hang out with me but I’m glad i have her in my life. She’s really a joy to have around most of the time.

Im tired though, from work and from my friends and i actually wished i was closer to my family where we are not that strangers most of the time. I don’t really know what going on in my brother mind because we never actually quarreled or argue. i suck big time.

i missed the time where ZiHigh was ZiHigh and we were so closed but good things don’t last and everyone grows up and slowly move on with life. I realized slowly that even good friends drift like Jingyi. Amusing but we don’t talk anymore and my small little things don’t actually impressed her anymore. Jon: ” Hey Happy Birthday :D” and Jingyi: ” OMG you actually remembered.” Jon:” :( “

….Im tired…..

Hello Tumblr :) life been different and i commissioned

Mon, 24 Oct 2011 10:17:43 +0800

Hello Tumblr :) life been different and i commissioned

Back in Town :)))) Bye Bye Brunei :p The shagness 10 days without sleep is a torture compare to...

Thu, 27 Jan 2011 14:37:26 +0800

Back in Town :)))) Bye Bye Brunei :p The shagness 10 days without sleep is a torture compare to scorpion king pffft………..

Going Brunei in hours time with a flu… zz sianz

Mon, 17 Jan 2011 17:51:38 +0800

Going Brunei in hours time with a flu… zz sianz

Professional Term

Fri, 14 Jan 2011 21:59:44 +0800

My service term has ended in Tango Wing. Platoon 1 was the best i could asked for. The people, the life and the environment. I learnt pain and joy i never thought i could find. It was surely one of the most memorable thing that had happened in my life. I sincerely thank Tango Platoon 1 for the short 3 months :) After all I been through with my section mates, i’m going to miss those that went different vocation as me. I got posted to armour infantry, something i never thought i will be in. I really wanted artillery as a vocation im signing my life to but I didn’t get it. In the end , my contract got void because artillery rejected me saying my bmi was too high. I know its a real beyond point of speech but its the truth. Honestly, i was really disappointed by the rejection, talked to my pc, got some advice from him and i got over it. First day at armour today to send my kit bag at sungei gedong. Its far like seriously far. No cab wants to come in at all even if i call and book. I can’t imagine how im going to enjoy the weeks going back and fro. I got Chester and Luke with me at armour in the same platoon, thanks God for the blessing :) Im going Brunei for 10 days on monday, its going to be tough but i know i will manage it. To the rest of my section mates and platoon mates:) see you guys in joint term. You guys are the best, lets commission together on the same parade square in months time.

What I never considered before had actually became part of my life. Right here , Right now. Who...

Mon, 27 Dec 2010 16:19:46 +0800

What I never considered before had actually became part of my life. Right here , Right now. Who would have ever thought that I will consider a career in army. I mean honestly i lose all my freedom and all the fun i ever wanted but honestly after this 7 months of army, i really enjoyed it. There can be tough time but i learnt alot including picking myself back up when i fall. I meet great people and it provides me opportunities i know i will never get again.

This is me now as of 2010 december. Its ending the year and i consider this a turning point in my life. Let hope i don’t regret my decision cause i know i won’t :)

"You need a boost of strength and I’m that source."

Sun, 26 Dec 2010 12:17:46 +0800

“You need a boost of strength and I’m that source.”

- J.Y

"Bones are breaking, Week is long, Break is Short, And that how i conclude this week"

Fri, 19 Nov 2010 23:32:54 +0800

“Bones are breaking, Week is long, Break is Short, And that how i conclude this week”

Good Life...FxxK No

Sun, 07 Nov 2010 10:43:27 +0800

What an enjoyable morning, eating tau huey and tying a blogpost :DD..

Wait… Its all a fantasy pffft… im booking in like hours time for wtf Remedial Training..

My first RT in 6 months WTF…. Nvr thought this would happened to me…

O welll im still going to continue eating my tau huey and tang yuan and worry later :p

FYI : Those who are asking me out this week, i’m not booking out so don’t ask me out :p I got CDS duty on Saturday and most prob Rt on sunday and its a bit retard of me to go home and come back to camp :p

Photo

Sun, 07 Nov 2010 10:36:07 +0800

Photo

Sun, 07 Nov 2010 10:35:57 +0800

Life so Far

Sat, 06 Nov 2010 20:57:49 +0800

Its been awhile since i last posted on tumblr :p my bad. Let see, i got posted to OCS after my bmt. It wasnt what i really wanted but i couldnt have gotten better.

I mean its the hardest to get in out of so many vocation and i got in, like my bro say there must be something in me.

OCS life is pretty hectic, i dont really enjoy the new environment. Its a big culture shock. Everything is tight and training is really tough. Im already one month past my service term and i got about 2 more months to go before i get my senior bar which brings me to my professional term which is gonna be tougher pfft. Sucks to me.

Just taken my ippt test recently and i didnt managed a gold again. Was closed though, im only 15 secs away from gold and im kinda disappointed in myself. I mean i gotten the best result i ever had in my life but im not satisfied yet. If only i had put in a little more effort i could have gotten it. Damn a 24 points - silver annoying yea!..

People in my platoon are pretty fun, it really makes me miss cougar. The time i had and spent with them. Its all memories now. I missed them badly, so much i know i would have given up ocs just to be with them again :( but i know i have to move on. If they are coping well in their new unit i know i can too.

Back outside army life.

I dont really have alot of time now with my family and friends. Most of my time spend is in camp and i dont really get to enjoy myself. Im kinda social deprived. No more work life balance. Just went to Gek’s 21 yesterday, been awhile since i last saw her and some other gang. Woah its like i haven seem them for half a year and i think that about right.

I been eating alot lately, in army and out of army, im pretty sure if i continue on i might become the old me again. I need to control my diet and watch what im eating. sheesh i think my metabolism rate increase in ocs. i need to adjust back if not i know im gonna regret it. :p

"We always want the best in life, but ask yourself, have you work towards it?"

Sat, 06 Nov 2010 20:47:48 +0800

“We always want the best in life, but ask yourself, have you work towards it?”

- J.Y

From this point on:)

Sun, 10 Oct 2010 19:42:58 +0800

My life is gonna change from tomorrow onwards :) I know the road is tough but i’m gonna endure whatever shit that is thrown at me. I know if i persevere i can made it somehow :) Im gonna end off here, This is my life This is me

Army Updates

Fri, 27 Aug 2010 19:50:04 +0800

-Cleared all high keys event

-Ippt Silver Earned

-Sitest Cleared and it was awesomely fun

Gaging bout 4 more weeks to P.o.P and bye bye basics :)

A point for myself to be stand proud, lotsa accomplishments for myself to stand tall.

im setting my goal and im aiming for it!

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 14:10:44 +0800

im setting my goal and im aiming for it!

bitterheartbitterheart: sr8olguin: iiadore-domo: amirawho: (v...

Sun, 15 Aug 2010 14:07:58 +0800

bitterheartbitterheart:

sr8olguin:

iiadore-domo:

amirawho:

(via freakybrr)

IF ANYONE EVER EATS THIS, I THINK HE/SHE HAS TO RUN FOR 24HRS TO BURN OFF THE CALORIES.

this week is a super long week :) happy bday Singapore :p im loving the Sunday this week :p

Sun, 08 Aug 2010 14:28:55 +0800

this week is a super long week :) happy bday Singapore :p im loving the Sunday this week :p

coughing realllllllly badly

Sat, 17 Jul 2010 16:59:28 +0800

coughing realllllllly badly

J.y

Sun, 27 Jun 2010 13:51:07 +0800

J.y